«юмор»
All HHR.ONE stories tagged «юмор». TBrein — Harry/Hermione original universe.
Глухие Буераки: Корни глубокие
У корней есть цена, и её придётся заплатить. Но и сами корни остаются
Sphere of Influence
In the aftermath of the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, the Unspeakables scramble to figure out what on earth is going on with Harry Potter — and drown in memos, mishaps, and pure absurdity. A biting bureaucratic satire in the spirit of Men in Black.
Cell No. 394-B
The Ministry «optimised» its budget and abolished solitary confinement in Azkaban — so Draco Malfoy, who dreamed of a noble, tragic solitude, lands in a cell with three Death Eaters, where the only currency is a good joke and the right to sleep or eat a crust of bread must be won at riddles.
A Suite Under the Stairs
The summer after Sirius's death is slowly driving Harry mad at the Dursleys' — until Hermione finds an audacious loophole: turn the hated cupboard under the stairs into a self-contained suite where his aunt and uncle's rules no longer apply.
A Potion of Luck
Tired of watching his best friend cry in empty classrooms, Harry uncorks his vial of Felix Felicis — only to learn that liquid luck can talk Malfoy into silence and solve an Arithmancy equation, but it always runs out at the worst possible moment.
Scarier Than a Dragon
Opening the Yule Ball with a waltz is scarier than facing the Hungarian Horntail again — and Harry's only hope is hiding behind a tower of books in the common room. Except those dance lessons in an empty classroom are about to turn their friendship upside down.
Dessert for the Winner
At three in the morning Hermione accidentally sits on Ron's birthday cake, leaving a far too telling imprint. Magic helps hide the evidence, but Harry has already memorised the original «in detail» — and he won't settle for a copy.
The Eye and the Orgasm
Harry carelessly reads the wrong rune, and the Potters land in Mordor, right under the gaze of the Eye of Sauron. Hermione has a plan to save two worlds — a wildly unconventional, utterly reckless and, it seems, brilliant one.
Operation 'Ho-Ho-Ho'
To give the children of Hogwarts back the wonder the war stole from them, the Ministry stuffs Harry into Santa's red coat, and Hermione appoints herself his "head Christmas elf" — and somewhere between budget rows and rehearsed "ho-ho-ho"s, the two of them discover the most important gift was waiting for them all along.
The Ballad of Harry and Hermione, or the Curse of Barnabas the Bewildered
A dead-boring Saturday at Hogwarts is rescued by a rumour of a secret passage — until a mischievous portrait curses Harry and Hermione with unstoppable operatic voices, forcing them to sing every word as a love duet for the whole castle to hear.
Ron Weasley and the Curse of the Algorithms
While Harry chases dark wizards and Hermione rewrites the law, Ron Weasley «tests» a Muggle toaster on camera — and wakes up a global YouTube star whom millions take for a brilliant Russian comedian with great special effects.
Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Dad
A magazine claims men marry women just like their mothers. The Gryffindors by the fire decide to test the theory on Harry — and his portrait of the perfect match turns out suspiciously familiar.
Weasleys of the Corn
As it turns out, Ron Weasley isn't a timid sidekick at all but a dangerous madman, unleashed on an unsuspecting public after a decade of his family's insanity. And he's started by signing Harry up for a duel with Malfoy.
Haridan the Cautious
With every rival already dead, Harry decides to tackle the Tournament finale the only sensible way — very, very cautiously. If that calls for an enchanted 1942 Thompson and the better part of two weeks methodically clearing the maze, well, that Potions essay won't write itself.
The Time Loop
When Hermione drops her Time-Turner, the same Tuesday snaps shut around the two of them — and to break the loop, Harry and Hermione must work out what it is they're holding onto most tightly of all.
Confrontations in the Common Room
Ginny has had enough of the way Harry can't take his eyes off Hermione — and a showdown in the Gryffindor common room is now unavoidable. Pure Harmony, just as it should be.
The Father of the Bride's Speech
The speech the father of the bride really ought to have given at Ron and Hermione's wedding. With a Harmony ending.
Curiosity Killed the Cat
Over lunch, five-year-old Lily Potter asks her dad one simple question: "What is sex?" And Harry desperately wishes Hermione were here.
The Path to Harmony
Crookshanks sees not people but the glow of their souls — and he knows exactly whose gold warms his mistress and whose flame wears her down; the cat launches Operation «Proper Pair», and the cleverest matchmaker at Hogwarts has firm opinions about who deserves the spot by the fire.
Лекарство для Поттера
Чтобы Гарри наконец перестал видеть в ней «ходячую энциклопедию», Гермиона ставит ему несуществующий диагноз и назначает лечение, от которого у обоих перехватывает дыхание.
Look at this!
Раздосадованная насмешкой над Гарри и романом Рона с Лавандой, Гермиона целует друга прямо в гостиной — «чисто чтобы доказать правоту»; вот только эксперимент даёт совсем не тот результат, на который она рассчитывала.
Володя 2, или Тихая заводь Тёмного Лорда
