When Harry and Hermione returned downstairs, they saw Lily and James had moved into the sitting room. They were in the chairs opposite the couch, holding hands as they talked in low voices. They cut off when they saw Harry and Hermione.
"We thought it would be more comfortable to sit in here," Lily said, sounding nervous. You have no idea what you're in for, Hermione thought to herself.
"What do you know about Peter?" James asked as soon as Harry and Hermione touched the couch, before they'd had a chance to settle into their seats.
Harry shifted uncomfortably.
"We'll get there," Hermione said. "But first…we should probably start at the beginning."
"Fine," James sighed, leaning back in his chair.
Lily placed a hand on James's forearm and said gently to Harry, "Go ahead."
Harry hesitated. After he opened and closed his mouth twice, Hermione began telling the story. "Voldemort went to kill Harry that night in 1981, instead of Neville and as we explained earlier, because of a deal he'd made with Snape, he had no intention of killing the Lily from our world. So, when she gave her life to protect her son, the Sacrificial Magic went into effect and prevented Voldemort from killing him, making Harry the Boy Who Lived."
Hermione glanced at Harry, who was sitting still, focused on a blank spot on the wall. She looked back at Lily and James before continuing. "He was taken from the scene of the crime by Hagrid and delivered to—"
"Muggles," Harry cut in.
"Muggles?" James asked. "Why not Sirius? He's your godfather. He should have taken care of you."
Hermione opened her mouth to explain, but Harry beat her to it. "Sirius was... indisposed at the time." Harry stopped to clear his throat. "We'll get there later in the story."
"O-kay," Lily said carefully. "But why Muggles? Surely there were other wizards who would have taken you in. Remus, Peter, any of the Order members. Hell, you could have lived at Hogwarts. That would have been very safe."
Harry bit his lip and looked down at the coffee table. "Dumbledore thought it best if I didn't know I was famous. And he wanted to hide me. So, I was raised by Muggles and thought I was a Muggle until I was eleven, when I got my acceptance letter for Hogwarts."
Lily and James looked upset. If they were upset now, they were going to be livid when they found out where Sirius was. Harry could feel Hermione's eyes on him and turned to find her watching him sternly. She looked personally offended that he was leaving out the bit about the Dursleys. She urged him with his eyes to tell them the truth, but he ignored her. The story was going to be bad enough without that part.
He explained his first year, which wasn't much different from Neville's first year. Then they explained Second Year, which elicited several outbursts from James at multiple points in the story.
"Shit! Hermione was Petrified?! And they kept the school open?!"
"An Acromantula and a Basilisk?! All in one school year?"
"You stabbed it with a fucking sword?! How are you still alive?"
Lily stayed quiet and when they reached the end of the story, asked calmly, "Why didn't you go to any of the professors when you learned how to open the Chamber?!"
"We had a professor with us," Harry said defensively, looking just like a child who was being scolded by his mother.
"Lockhart is a fraud. Everyone knows that. Even you knew it. You know what I mean," Lily countered.
Hermione was about to chime in and say she was with Lily, and had said the same thing when they woke her up, but refrained.
"What did your adopted parents say?" Lily asked, then turned to Hermione. "And your parents?"
Now Hermione joined Harry in looking ashamed. "I never told them," Hermione admitted. "If I had, they wouldn't have let me go back."
Harry just nodded in agreement, even though it wasn't true. He hadn't told the Dursleys, that part was true, but if he had, he was sure they would have been even more eager to send them back to Hogwarts.
"Okay," Lily sighed. "How was your Third Year?"
Harry glanced at Hermione, a look of panic in his eyes. "Do you want me to do this one?" she asked.
Harry took a deep breath and shook his head. "I'll do it."
"That bad?" Lily asked, looking worried.
Harry nodded.
"Worse than an Acromantula and Basilisk?" James asked, disbelieving.
Harry nodded again. He felt Hermione shift closer to him and he leaned into her warmth.
"The year started out pretty badly. A mass murderer had escaped from Azkaban and was coming for me, apparently. They put dementors at the entrances of Hogwarts to catch him but sometimes they went loose, like on the Hogwarts Express and once, at a Quidditch match."
"Why was a mass murderer after you?" James asked.
Harry sighed and focused on the surface of the coffee table. "He was believed to be one of Voldemort's followers. Everyone thought he wanted to kill me to avenge his master's death, or something like that."
"Who was it?" Lily asked.
Harry sighed again, then looked up at his dad as he said, "Sirius Black."
Lily gasped. James's jaw tightened but otherwise, his expression remained impassive. "Sirius Black is not a murderer," he said harshly. "Not in any world."
"I know. But we didn't know that at the time," Harry replied.
"So you're telling me Sirius was in Azkaban for—what was that—twelve years?" James asked. "That's why you said he was 'indisposed?'"
Harry nodded.
"How is that possible? What crime was he accused of?"
"The story was—" Harry cut off and turned to Hermione. "Can you?"
She nodded. "The story was that Sirius was your Secret Keeper. You knew Voldemort was coming for you and set up a Fidelius Charm around your house. So, after you died, everyone believed Sirius had betrayed you."
"He would never," James cut in.
"He didn't," Hermione confirmed. "This is just what everyone believed. The story was that Peter Pettigrew confronted him, the day after you were killed. There was a fight and at the end, there was an explosion. Peter was killed, along with a dozen Muggles, and Sirius was carted off to Azkaban."
"What actually happened?" James asked.
Harry liked how he didn't for a second believe his best friend was capable of that heinous crime. But what would he think of Peter's deception?
Harry took up the story again. He talked through the highlights of the year: Receiving the Marauder's map as a gift from the twins, the break-ins by Sirius, the dementors, then working with Lupin on Patronuses.
"Remus?" James asked.
"Oh, yeah," Harry said. "He was always Professor Lupin to us. He taught Defense Against the Dark Arts and was brilliant."
"Dumbledore employed a werewolf? How did the board approve that?" James asked.
"They didn't know," Harry explained. "No one did, except Snape, because he made him his Wolfbane Potion, and Hermione. She figured it out, of course." Harry turned to give her a small smile.
"This was the first time you met him?" James pressed. "Third Year?"
Before Harry could respond, Lily did. "Dumbledore hid Harry with Muggles, James. And Remus, he would have been alone, with Sirius in Azkaban and Peter gone. I'm sure he was having a hard time."
James's brow furrowed as he considered her words. Eventually, he waved for Harry to continue.
Harry began to tell the complicated story of the night they learned the truth about Sirius. When he got to the part about Peter, and how he was still alive and had been living as a rat for twelve years, James got up and disappeared into the kitchen. Lily excused herself and went to follow him.
When James returned, he looked at Harry sharply and said, "You're an Auror. What do you think happened to Peter in our time, given what you know of him from yours?"
"Er—my guess is in the first war, someone contacted him, either Death Eaters or Voldemort himself, and pressured him to pass along information from your side. Before he could, the war ended. Then, well, that would have picked up in the second war. Maybe he passed information, maybe he didn't. And when he saw an opportunity to leave the country, he jumped on it. I'm guessing taking me away was in large part, his idea. But when he was back, whichever Death Eaters he'd been working with would have been angry, so they killed him."
James exhaled heavily. "Yeah. That was my guess." He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into his eyelids, wiping away a few tears, before looking back at Harry. "Okay. What happened next? You had Peter, so you could clear Sirius's name."
Harry glossed over the next part, leaving out Snape's involvement, since his dad had enough reason to hate him. He just mentioned Lupin transforming as they walked back to the castle and how in the chaos, Peter escaped.
"He just ran off?" Lily asked.
Harry nodded and looked down at his lap. "Sirius wanted to kill him but I—I stopped him. I thought—er—you —" he looked up at James, "—wouldn't want your friends killing each other. So it's my fault he got away and he ended up going straight to Voldemort and I—I think about that a lot. If that was the right decision."
"It was," James said quickly, "no question. I would have done the same." James gave him a small smile and a tightness Harry had been carrying around in his heart for years was released.
Harry went on to explain the rest of the night and the trip Harry and Hermione took with the time turner to free Sirius.
"Hang on," Lily said when he was finished. "You had a Time Turner at thirteen?" she asked Hermione.
"Fourteen," Hermione said. "I'm almost a year older than everyone."
"Fine," Lily said, clearly resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "So, Dumbledore sent you back in time, then encouraged you to go onto the grounds where a werewolf was on the loose. And if that wasn't bad enough, you were nearly Kissed by Dementors and the only thing that saved you was the fact that Harry was able to cast what was probably the most powerful Patronus created in a hundred years. Am I getting that right?"
"Um, yeah?" Hermione said. "But it was the future Harry who made the Patronus. If he hadn't gone back with the Time Turner, the past Harry and Sirius would have died. So, it had to happen."
"And Dumbledore never once thought, 'Maybe I should go with them? Or at least, send McGonagall.' He thought you were perfectly capable, at thirteen and fourteen, of handling this trip alone?" Lily asked challengingly.
"There wasn't any time," Harry said defensively. "Fudge was about to instruct the Dementors to Kiss Sirius. And Dumbledore was right. We did manage it."
"You were thirteen!" Lily cried. "You should have been in your dormitory playing Exploding Snap! Not on the grounds battling werewolves, handling hippogriffs, and fighting off dementors!"
"Lily…" James said calmly, placing a hand on her arm. "I was battling werewolves at thirteen."
Lily finally let out the eye roll she'd been holding in. "Don't get me started on that."
James nodded for Harry to continue.
"Er—so, that was the end of Third Year. Sirius was on the run, Peter was going back to help Voldemort, and Lupin was fired."
"He was fired?" James asked. "Why? Surely he didn't hurt anyone that night."
"He didn't," Harry said. "But, er, Snape let slip he was a werewolf."
"Of course he did," James growled. "How prominently is that git going to feature in the rest of your story?"
Harry swallowed hard. "Um, pretty prominently."
"Great," James said sardonically.
Harry explained his Fourth Year next. When he got through the description of the Second Task, Lily interrupted him. "Where was the Order?"
"They didn't get together until the following Summer."
"So the only person helping you through these tasks was Moody, who was actually an imposter? Where was Dumbledore?! Eating biscuits and tea in his office?" she cried.
"With Snivellus," James murmured.
Harry looked to Hermione for help, but she seemed at a loss too. Lily just sighed and told them to continue with the story.
Harry explained the last task, then the graveyard, only leaving out the part where he saw his parents come out of his wand. He told them about how Moody tried to take him when he returned to Hogwarts, but was thwarted just in time. When he finished the story, Lily had tears in her eyes.
She leaned forward and said gently, "When you were fourteen, you were taken against your will to a graveyard, where you were forced to watch foul Dark Magic. No, not just watch, you had to participate in the ceremony— with Peter, of all people. Then you watched Voldemort regain his body, you watched him call his followers, and you battled him."
Harry nodded. Unsure what else to say. Those were the facts.
"But he escaped," Hermione chimed in. "He made it out and he even managed to bring back Cedric's body."
"Right. I forgot to add, 'watched a classmate die' to my list," Lily said sardonically. She dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her temples, looking down as she said, "Tell me, Harry. Does this story get worse?"
"Yeah," he said honestly.
She sighed, then rose from her chair. "Then I need a break. Tea, anyone?"
Everyone nodded silently. Lily crossed the room to where Harry was sitting, placed a hand on his shoulder, then leaned in and kissed his cheek before going to the kitchen.
"She's right," James said when she was gone. "It's appalling how few people stopped to help you. We're not trying to diminish what you managed on your own, really, just—we wish you had more help."
"Yeah," Harry said, forcing the word through the lump in his throat. "I wish I had more help, too."
James just looked at him sadly while Hermione rested her head on his shoulder. Harry turned and whispered in her ear, "I'm going to need you to do the next one."
"Of course," she whispered back, her hair tickling his neck as she nodded her head.
After Lily returned and they each had a chance to take a few sips of tea, Hermione announced that she was covering the next year. She was generous with her description of Harry's emotional and mental struggles. She also left out the entire Umbridge ordeal and his hearing at the Ministry, which he appreciated. His parents were upset enough as it was.
She explained what happened with Arthur, took a brief detour in the story to tell James and Lily what had happened to Frank and Alice—which made James swear and Lily gasp)—then when she got to the part about Harry starting up Occlumency lessons, she paused.
Hermione sipped her tea again, then averted her eyes as she said, "So Harry started Occlumency lessons with Snape."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" James asked, eyes snapping to Harry.
"I wish," Harry sighed.
"What did Sirius say?" James pressed.
"He was upset," Hermione replied, "but he knew it was important for Harry to learn to shield his mind."
"Why didn't Dumbledore teach you? Or Kingsley?"
"Dumbledore was busy and Kingsley wasn't at Hogwarts. Snape was," Hermione countered.
"Apparating to Hogsmeade and walking into the castle takes ten minutes," James retorted.
Hermione backtracked and described what was going on with the Ministry and Umbridge, since it explained why Dumbledore wasn't in a position to bring Aurors to school, since he himself was kicked out mid-year. Harry rubbed the back of his hand as she told the story and was glad when she left out the part about how he received those scars. She did include the DA, though, which earned Harry a proud smile from both his parents.
"Then, Harry had another vision."
Hermione stopped and looked at Harry, who was blinking fast to keep tears from falling.
"What happened?" Lily asked in a way that made it sound like she didn't want to know.
Hermione told the story of what happened at the Ministry quickly, using as few words as possible and clutching Harry's hand tightly the whole time. When she was finished, an uncomfortable silence settled over the room.
"It wasn't Harry's fault," Hermione said. "The vision looked real—just like the one with Arthur—and we checked it! We Floo-called Grimmauld Place and everything."
"I was just trying to save him," Harry added, keeping his eyes down, unable to meet James's gaze.
James got up and went to sit on the coffee table in front of Harry. He placed a hand on his shoulder and waited for Harry to look up before speaking. He didn't look angry, or even disappointed. Just sad.
"It definitely wasn't your fault, Harry. It was Snape's fault for ending your lessons, Dumbledore's for ignoring you all year, and every other adult in your life who failed to advocate for you—including Sirius and Remus. What the fuck were they doing this whole time?" he ended, saying the last statement more to himself than to Harry.
Harry felt the need to defend them. "Lupin was having a really hard time. He couldn't get a job and Dumbledore was making him seek out other werewolves—which he hated. And Sirius—he was just a shadow of himself. After Azkaban and—and—losing his best friend, being forced to stay locked up… He was trying his best."
James sighed and his eyes were wet as he said, "Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Because the Sirius I knew would have never allowed you to feel so...lonely."
Harry dropped his head again. So, he'd noticed that? Even with Hermione telling the story, he'd picked up the undercurrent of Harry's ostracism and isolation that year. James gave Harry's shoulder a final pat before returning to his seat.
"Shall we take another break?" James asked, eying Harry warily.
Harry shook his head. "Let's just finish this. That brings us to Sixth Year. Everyone knew Voldemort was back and Voldemort had blocked that passage between our minds, so I started training with Dumbledore. But—er—we didn't get through as many Horcruxes as he and Neville did before he died."
"How many?" James asked.
"Two. The diary and the ring."
"That's nothing."
"I know." Harry skipped over most of the details from Sixth Year, eager to get to the end of the story, and began explaining the night he visited the cave with Dumbledore. When he reached the part where they saw the Dark Mark hovering in the sky above Hogwarts, Harry had to stop.
"Oh no!" Lily gasped. "What happened? Did Death Eaters infiltrate the castle?"
Harry nodded. He gave Hermione a quick look, and she picked up the story. "Dumbledore and Harry borrowed broomsticks from Madam Rosmerta and flew to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore told Harry to hide under his Invisibility Cloak and when someone approached, he Petrified Harry so he couldn't get involved in the standoff. And—um—Dumbledore ended up being killed by Snape that night."
"What?!" Lily said while James said, "That fucking bastard. So he wasn't on your side."
"He was," Hermione said. "Dumbledore was cursed by the ring in our world, just as he was in yours. But Snape was able to contain the curse for a year. They knew he was dying and planned out his death like this, to solidify Snape's position as a spy. But no one knew that's what was going on, so when he killed Dumbledore, we all thought he'd betrayed us."
James took his glasses off and began rubbing his face with his palms. "So Dumbledore was dead, Sirius was dead, and you'd only managed to destroy two Horcruxes?"
"Yes," Harry said.
"Who was running the Order?"
"Moody," Harry replied, "but not for much longer. He died a few months later, while trying to transport me to a safe house." He turned to Hermione. "Who took over after that?"
She shrugged. "Kingsley?"
"How do you not know?" James pressed.
"We weren't with the Order," Hermione explained. "We went off on our own to hunt Horcruxes. Um, me, Harry, and Ron."
"What?!" James exclaimed. "Why?"
"Dumbledore told me to keep the Horcruxes a secret," Harry said.
"So?! Dumbledore was dead!" Lily countered.
Harry shrugged. "Snape was a traitor and everyone I trusted was dead. Going off on our own seemed like the best option at the time."
"What about Remus? Where was he?" James asked.
"Oh. Er—he tried to help, but I sent him away. Mainly because he was just doing it to avoid his son. Or, um, unborn son."
"He had a son?"
Harry nodded. "With Tonks. But they both, er, didn't make it. So Teddy's an orphan today."
"Andromeda is raising him," Hermione added, "and Harry's his godfather. He's brilliant at it. Teddy adores him." Harry blushed slightly.
James just shook his head. "Okay—that's, uh, a lot." He got up and paced the room several times before settling back in his seat. Lily grabbed his hand and James gave her a devastated look. He'd mostly managed to wipe it from his face when he asked, "So, you three went off alone and that...worked?"
"Kind of," Harry said. He explained their Horcrux hunt quickly, beginning with the Ministry break-in. He told about how Ron left and how they had no idea what to do, then how they decided to go to Godric's Hollow and what happened there. When he reached the part about seeing a doe Patronus in the woods, Lily cut in.
"My Patronus?! What was it doing there? Was the other Lily sending you a message beyond the grave?"
"Oh, er, no," Harry said. Looking away from his parents awkwardly.
"Isn't it obvious?" James asked. "It was Snape, wasn't it?" He directed his question at Harry.
"Yeah," Harry said. His mum looked uncomfortable, but remained quiet.
Harry explained how he got the sword, how Ron returned, and how Ron destroyed the Horcrux, leaving out the part about how the necklace fought back, which was something Hermione didn't even know. He felt sick as he remembered what the Horcrux made Ron see. His worst fear: Harry and Hermione snogging. And then Harry had reassured him that he only ever saw Hermione like a sister, which wasn't true then and sure as hell wasn't true now.
"Um, next…" he continued, his voice shaking.
"I can take it up," Hermione said, and proceeded to very matter-of-factly describe their capture by the Snatchers, her torture, their escape, and their trip to Gringotts.
"This can't be real," Lily said in awe after Hermione finished describing their escape on the dragon. "Breaking into the Ministry, the run-in with Nagini, escaping from Malfoy Manor, of all places, then breaking into Gringotts by impersonating Bellatrix?"
"Don't forget escaping on a dragon," James added. "That's the best part."
"We have the memories to back it up," Hermione said. "Though, I wouldn't advise viewing the Bathilda Bagshot one."
"No kidding," Harry said darkly. "It'll give you nightmares for months."
"Years," Hermione countered.
"Perhaps the rest of your life." They exchanged a smile while James and Lily watched, horrified, clearly not amused by the dark joke.
"Er, anyway," Harry continued. "That brings us to the last two Horcruxes: the diadem and the snake."
He explained how they broke into Hogwarts, found and destroyed the diadem and the cup, and then how the Battle broke out. He told them about Snape and what he saw in his memories, leaving out the details about Snape growing up with his mum, since she'd already know those, and then how Harry learned what he had to do to defeat Voldemort.
He was about to describe what happened in the forest when his mum cut in. "Are you about to tell me that you walked to your death, all alone?" she asked, her voice tear laden.
"I wasn't alone," Harry countered. "I had the stone. I used it during that walk and I saw my parents and Sirius and Lupin. They were with me," he finished, his voice breaking at the end.
Hermione wrapped her arm around his waist as Lily rose and disappeared into the kitchen. James gave them a curt nod before disappearing after her.
"I told you he was manipulative," they heard Lily say. "I knew this is what he had planned for Neville!"
"He was playing a very complicated game of chess, even more so in this other world. He had so many less players to work with," James replied calmly.
"You always defend him!" Lily bit back. "I'm glad he didn't get his way in this world. Augusta would have skinned him alive. But that Harry didn't have an Augusta. He didn't have us, his Muggle parents were oblivious, Sirius was gone, Remus was a mess, and Peter—don't even get me started on that."
"This isn't our world," James replied. "This is a dystopia of some sort. It's not real, Lily."
"It's real to them! And I know this isn't our world but I—I can't even stand that somewhere out there, this world exists."
"So, it was as bad as I thought," Harry murmured to Hermione. "It's nice to have confirmation."
She laid her head on his shoulder. "But they're forgetting that I wasn't completely alone," he added. "I had you."
She smiled. "You still do."
"I'm sorry," Lily said when she returned a few moments later, patting her eyes with a handkerchief. "It's a lot to take in."
"Yeah," Harry sighed.
"We were at the part where Voldemort was about to kill you," Lily said, her voice catching in her throat.
"Yeah. And he did, sort of." Harry explained the rest of the story quickly, glad to finally be at the end. He was completely spent and thought he could sleep for a solid day.
"So you survived the Killing Curse twice," Lily said.
"Thanks to the other version of my mum," Harry replied, his voice uneven.
Lily nodded, then rose from her seat and went to stand next to Harry. She motioned for Harry to stand up and when he did, pulled him into a hug. "I know I'm not technically your mother," she said as she leaned back to look at him, "but twenty years ago she and I were the same person, so I can confidently say that she is so unbelievably proud of you—" she paused to take his face in her hands, "—and also, desperately sorry she wasn't there and for all you had to endure in her absence."
A few tears escaped Harry's eyes. Lily wiped them away before hugging him again.
James was next and pulled Harry into an almost bone-breaking hug, but Harry loved it.
Meanwhile, Lily folded herself around Hermione and said into her ear, "I have no words for you—just, thank you, thank you, thank you, for staying by his side."
"I'm sorry we were so harsh with you earlier," James was saying to Harry. He'd stepped back, but still had his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I guess I see where those fighting skills came from. You've been fighting your whole life, haven't you?"
"Yeah," Harry choked out.
There was another round of hugs, then Hermione found herself in the crook of Harry's arm. She wrapped both arms around his middle before turning her head toward James and Lily, who were also clinging to each other for comfort.
"That was a lot," James declared.
Everyone nodded.
"I'm not sure where we go from here," he added.
"We have another day at Giant's Gulch, to see the West side of the sanctuary. I propose we do that tomorrow, then move on to the next Wonder," Hermione said.
"Trust Hermione to have a plan—in any world," James quipped.
Everyone agreed it was as good a plan as any, then there was a last round of hugs before James and Lily went upstairs.
"Holy shit," Harry said when he and Hermione were alone. He wrapped his arms around her and propped his chin on her head. "That was the worst."
"Yeah."
"That's what therapy's like?"
"I don't know. I think so."
"It's awful. I can't believe people pay money for that."
"Maybe you'll feel better in the morning," she suggested.
"I hope so. I can't see going anywhere from here but up."
Hermione stepped away from him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the stairs. "Let's go to bed."
Harry's mood deteriorated quickly from there. He was quiet as he changed behind a screen in the bedroom, put his glasses on the bedside table, and climbed into bed. Once there, he turned away from Hermione and put the lights out with a silent spell.
"Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively, turning to face him in the dark.
"I don't want to talk," he replied, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. "All talked out, thanks."
"Yeah, I gathered that," she whispered back. "I just—um—wanted you to know that I'm here and that I know how you're feeling. You worked so hard with that crappy hand you were dealt and you did it—in the end. You won and also managed to come out of the whole ordeal with your heart and soul intact. Then tonight, you learned of another way it could have happened, an easier way and—I'm sorry for that. I know you don't want to talk but thought—I don't know—that you might be content to just—breathe next to someone else who knows. You're not alone, Harry. It's not just you, even though I know it feels that way sometimes."
He took a few steadying breaths, then turned onto his back. He held his arm out and wondered if she'd come to him. He didn't have to wonder for long, she was there the next moment, snuggled into the crook of his arm. He wrapped his arm around her to keep her in place. Harry felt immediately calmer as the torrent of thoughts in his head began to settle—replaced by thoughts of her. How solid and warm she was, how right this felt. He took in a deep inhale and smelled her floral shampoo.
"Breathe next to someone else who knows."
How did she know that's exactly what he needed? If he were with Ginny tonight, she'd probably force out an "I'm sorry," then try to distract him with sex. It wasn't a completely ineffective way to cheer him up, but he needed something more. He needed this. Her.
"Hermione." The word broke on its way out of his mouth. He took a breath and tried again. "Hermione. Thank you. For what—exactly—I can't even begin to list. We would be up all night if I tried, and we're both already knackered."
His brain began developing the list anyway. For every time you were there with me. For every time you held my hand at the exact moment I needed it tonight. For forcing me to talk to my parents, then filling in for me when I couldn't.
"Maybe you can write it all out tomorrow, when we're both better rested," she teased.
For making that joke, right then, he added to his mental list.
Harry leaned down and kissed her forehead. And because he was exhausted and feeling broken. And because it was dark and she'd come into his arms on her own, without hesitation, he let himself say aloud the thought that had been at the top of his mind for the past few days.
"What am I going to do without you when we're back?"
She stiffened in his arms but didn't move away. Instead, she burrowed her head further into his chest. She knew better than to protest and say that he'd never be without her, that she'd always be there as his friend. That wasn't what he meant. He wasn't looking for empty words, but a real response. But she didn't have one for him and said simply, "I don't know."
